The Ear Hole

Stax

Stax 50th: 50th Anniversary Celebration


Picked up the new Stax two-disc anniversary compilation yesterday. If you think your library might be thin on old soul, you could use Stax 50th. Nice blend of chart-topping hits and lesser-known nibblets. I'm just happy to see that Rufus Thomas made it on there twice. Plus, the album cover has a cool little hologram thing.

Otis Redding & Carla Thomas—Tramp

Rufus Thomas—Walking The Dog

Buy Stax 50th

Of course, as Stax compilations go, nothing will ever beat Stax Of Funk:

Rufus Thomas—Funky Hot Grits

The Sweet Inspirations—Slipped And Tripped

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Will Bernard: Party Hats

You might know Will Bernard as two of the five arms that make up T.J. Kirk's guitar attack (Charlie Hunter, of course, has three). In that outfit, his loose twang complements Hunter's clean, rhythmic style to drive a tight, rocked-out brand of abstract soul-jazz. On his solo projects, Bernard tends to get even more experimental — both in composition and instrumentation — and, at least to the casual listener, the product isn't always easy to swallow. To my surprise, the 11 tracks on his latest, Party Hats, are decidedly more digestible. The sound is an intriguing blend of acid jazz, soul and even a little afrobeat. Bernard's tricky jazz chops shine over the catchy, laid-back arrangements.

Will Bernard—Leo's Cat

Buy Party Hats

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I guess I've been pretty irritable lately. Hence this third installment of People And Things That Ought To Be Phased Out:

-Bracket analysis
-A stranger in the steam room who wants to chit-chat
-Road kill
-Pete Wentz and whatever awful band he's in

Please stop it.

-WiFi that isn't free
-The media planners for that Dodge Ram robot-boxing ad; leave us alone
-Also, the Dodge Ram guitar riff
-Low-sodium soy sauce (that's the one with the green lid)
-BYU
-The Situation Room
-High-strung motorists
-Bluetooth
-An elderly couple in a restaurant that's more interested in my food/conversation than their own
-Graduate admissions departments that send the same denial letter twice
-Tucker
-The NIT
-Ferrets

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Bonus Tracks:

Speak Low—Meters Bread

Buy Speak Low

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Breakestra—Champ

Buy Breakestra

Slow Walkers

This morning I inexplicably found myself stewing over a mental short list of personal pet peeves. And since I don't really have anything else on my mind today -- save for maybe Spain's disgusting loss to the filthy french yesterday -- I give you People and Things I Wouldn't Miss, vol. 1:

People who hold their nose when they jump in the pool.

Slow walkers.

Fast walkers who are trying to get around me.

The couple at the table next to mine, not uttering a word to one another and occasionally staring intently at my meal.

A group of tourists wearing matching t-shirts (especially if it's a church group).

Capers.

Belts with turtles on them.

"Martini's" menus and "Complimentary" free passes.

People who give their pets adjectives for names (i.e., "Fluffy" or "Squeaky").

Excessive use of quotation marks.

Times Square.

That's it for now. More to come in the very near future.

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June 28 Track Of The Day: "Filipino Box Spring Hog" by Tom Waits.

Purchase Mule Variations.

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Today's featured artist: The Sturgeon Kings from NYC. Here are a few from their latest, Out Of Thyme:

The Mule's Pajama Bottoms

The Grundle

Train Leaving Gray (Mason Jennings cover - Instrumental)

Funky Weather (Bob Schneider Cover)

what a tool

I accidentally caught Larry The Cable Guy on Leno last night while flipping through the late-night circuit, and I must admit that he actually held my attention...but it sure as hell wasn't with his wit or personality. It was one of those situations where the stupidity and embarrassment is so intriguing that you can't turn away. It's sort of like watching Saved By The Bell (click here for a perfectly exemplary SBTB clip. This is a must-see).

So there I was, watching in paralyzed awe as Larry, promoting his role in the new Pixar (or is it the other one?) flick, Cars, sat down beside Jay and proceeded to, gasp, speak.

It was immediately apparent that he had scripted his own interview; and spineless Jay was with him every step of the way (no surprise there). Back and forth they went as Larry turned the segment into his own mini stand-up routine, with Jay fueling the fire by lobbing joke lay-ups disguised as actual questions. Who shows up for a television interview with a rehearsed routine? Embarrassingly dull conversationalists, that's who. Sadly, it probably happens more often than we realize.

Anyway, I clearly am quite comfortable with my disdain for Larry and the rest of the Blue Collar degenerates. In fact, to me, the idea of watching their program transcends even the aforementioned Saved By The Bell effect. Sure, it probably would be fascinating to observe an episode of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour and try to draw conclusions as to what, exactly, the half-wit assholes in the audience find amusing (just as it is fascinating to stew over what went through a Saved By The Bell writer's brain while penning, say, this scene). But as entertaining as it may be to ponder that phenomenon, I'm afraid my profound hatred for these fellows trumps that curiosity, and will not permit me to help their ratings. What a bunch of tools.

In support of this random rant, here's some redneck kryptonite (soulful music):

Stand! by The Clinton Administration (Sly & The Family Stone cover). This song gets nasty at about the 1:37 mark.

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Disclaimer: Though this is my second TV-related post in the last week, I do not watch very much television.

run, warren, run

Somebody's got a case of the Mondays. First off, I'm sick, and my morning was thus spent in a crowded, smelly doctor's office. Second, for the first time in over a week, the NYC weather is shitty. And finally, Fidel, the regular sandwich wizard at my neighborhood deli, decided to let some washed-up, moustached hack try to do his job today. The result: a disappointing, lazily-crafted turkey & swiss on a (stale) roll.

Suffice it to say I was having a lousy day.

Then, Dan Abrams (don't like him) and MSNBC made my day with this. Yes, Warren Jeffs, everyone's favorite Mormon and leader of the polygamy-practicing Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints, just got him a shiny new FBI bulls-eye on his back (to match his shiny new pre-pubescent sex toy...er, wife). Mormon insiders say the shifty pervert will be "nearly impossible" to catch, citing his numerous support networks and his reputation as a meticulous master of mormon disguise. Here's to hoping he's dressed like this when they catch him; wherever he is.

According to this Waylon Jennings joint, the Feds needn't bother searching for him south of the border.

Funny, he doesn't look like a mormon/pedophile/egomaniac/geek.

Speaking of MSNBC, if you haven't seen the cable newsies' new mid-afternoon installment, The Most... don't do it. Unless you like that Cold Pizza show on espn2.

snow in april

What a tease. Three days ago, children, hippies and even hoboes frolicked about Central Park, welcoming the apparent first real day of spring. Frisbees, kites, outdoor seating...to be sure, every New Yorker thought we had turned the corner.

But today, on April 5, 2006, New York City is cloaked with a filthy, snowflake-spun haze blanket, and the lovely Manhattan skyline is about as blurry as Scott Stapp's vision at 3 a.m. on a Tuesday night.

If you'll recall, the last time it snowed, we built ourselves a symbolic Tony Danza snowman, only to melt the pompous, bumbling fool in effigy (scroll down to "let it snow"). Today, we vent our aggression toward yet another hapless "celebrity" as we set out to (further) defame the polluted, no-talent cry baby that is former Creed front man Scott Stapp.

And since we don't want to frighten the neighbor kids with a potentially repulsive, smelly snow structure, we'll go with something a little less intrusive: An Scott Stapp effigy footprint, into which we will promptly urinate.

Why Scott Stapp? Oh, let us count the ways:

1. His music sucks.
2. For reasons that defy all laws of common sense, he is full of himself.
3. In a shameless effort to breathe some life into his floundering career, he's actually TRYING to leak an old sex tape starring himself, Kid Rock and some poor, poor girl(s). Good luck.
4. For the same aforementioned reason, he flaunts his chemical dependency issues to make us think he's some kind of badass.
5. His music sucks.
6. He's pretty ugly.
7. This:

What an awful human being.

patrick

On Friday, March 17th, New York City celebrated St. Patrick's day...for the third consecutive weekend.

Yes, if you are a twenty-something living in the New York City area, you knew of three St. Patrick's day celebrations in 2006: The Hoboken St. Patrick's Day Parade (March 4), The South Street Seaport St. Patrick's Day Bar Crawl (March 11) and the Manhattan St. Patrick's Day Parade (March 17).

And as they are able to do year after year, all three events managed to unite hordes of respectful young urbanites in a genuine display of Irish nationalism seen only among the most devout guardians of the country's sacred heritage. Clothed in traditional Celtic garb, the jovial purists sang, danced and marched in observance of Ireland's great patron saint and his tireless efforts to spread Christianity throughout fifth-century Ireland.

Hoboken Mayor David Roberts, giddy with St. Pat's emotion, couldn't help but gloat over his townspeople's show of faith and respect on the special day.

"If 'I shamrock NY' t-shirts and green Bud Light cans don't say, 'Saint Patrick's noble religious sacrifices were not in vain,' I don't know what does," Roberts slurred between sips of Irish coffee while awaiting the start of the parade*. "I mean, it's March 4th. St. Patrick's Day. Just look at the spirit surrounding us and tell me these Hobokenites don't recognize that."

Traditional Irish purists honor the storied legacy of the great Saint Patrick in Hoboken, NJ.

* - If you're watching a parade, don't follow it. It never changes. If the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction. You will fast-forward the parade.
-Mitch Hedberg